When our systems are used to being in a state of exertion, a state of stress, and a state of defence, rest is the balm we need to give our bodies, minds, and hearts, a break. Our immune systems, digestion, and other healing functions in the body are deprioritized when we are in a chronic state of stress. We may find our thoughts racing, and our emotions all over the map.
Bringing our weary spirits to a place of rest is reparative.
Yet, for many of us rest can feel elusive or even impossible. We may feel that we don’t have time, or we may find that we just can’t settle in. Many of us feel antsy, fidgety, or even more stressed when we try to rest. This can be exacerbated by stress, trauma, or naturally high energy levels.
If our circumstances have required us to be highly activated, vigilant, and stressed, it can be a big ask for our bodies to lay right down, turn our brains off, and have a blissful experience. We likely have very good reasons for why we have needed to be in those states of intensity, and when these patterns are linked to safety/survival, you bet your body is not going to simply ~*let go*~ of them.
It’s tricky when the thing we know we need is one of the hardest things to do. I hear you. Here’s the good news:
Rest is something that can be practiced.
Yoga Nidra means “yogic sleep” and it is both a state of consciousness between waking and sleeping, and it is an ancient practice that comes in the form of a guided rest meditation. It is known to be a deeply restorative place, a place of healing.
Sometimes people practice Yoga Nidra to prepare for sleep, but it can be practiced any time of day. Learning to consciously rest can make this pattern more available to your brain and body. I suggest that we treat it like learning to play the piano — it may require some practice, and it’s probably not going to be easy right away, unless you are Mozart.
Making your Nest
Consider making yourself a resting nest in a safe and comfortable place. Here’s the key: be extra about it. Please, don’t skimp on yourself here. Gather all the pillows and blankets you can possibly find. Gather anything that helps you to feel comfortable and warm (like warm socks), because your body temperature may lower. You may want an eye covering, too - an eye pillow is lovely, but a folded towel works just as well.
The audio above is a practice designed to help your body know that it is safe enough to rest.
If you are longing for rest but rest eludes you, here are some things to try.
Try moving first — you can meet your nervous system where it is, and let yourself gradually slow down. Running, walking, yoga, even some stretching may help the body release enough energy that it can prepare for rest.
Orient — let your eyes scan the room that you are in, if possible allowing your eyes, head, and body to turn. Notice big things — walls, ceiling, floor, doors, windows. Then get more detailed — objects, fabrics, the details on materials. We are feeding visual information to your brain so that it knows your immediate environment is safe.
Soften — consciously relax any muscles that don’t need to be working. You may need to do this over and over again and that is okay. You are essentially telling your body - thank you, but you don’t need to be working right now.
Be patient with yourself — you may have a dreamy experience where your thoughts finally quiet (I hope you do), but if you don’t, see if you can let your body resting be enough.
“You can’t do it wrong, because there’s nothing to do”
I’ll never forget the relief I felt when my Yoga Nidra teacher Uma said this during a practice. It felt like a deep sigh for every cell in my body, like: “oh, thank GOD”. How often are we trying to ~*get it “right”*~? No wonder we are exhausted.
Gifts that burnout gave me
I don't push anymore
not through exhaustion
or sadness or dissociation
these are my sacred messages
they are requests, directly from my body
the messages say:
”pause, please.”
could we have a few extra minutes with our coffee this morning?
could we have a bath to ease the tension?
could we make some space for art, or love, to fill the spirit?
burnout gave me a pause before agreeing to anything at all:
project, phone call, breakfast choices
I pause and let my body decide
I look to her to guide the way
because she has brought me all this way
and the least I can do is cooperate
and the most I can do is honour her
I offer space, joy, rest
and what I receive is my creativity, my aliveness
my sense of self and a sacred steadiness
an understanding of my place in the order of things
she's been telling me all along but I didn't - didn't know how to - listen
until I had no choice
until my brain stopped working
and my body gave out
until I almost lost it all
Listen.
now, I listen
the work piles up
and the dishes are undone
and me and my body walk this strange life together,
hand in hand
I'm listening.
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